Just because his pushing happened earlier in the process doesn’t mean he doesn’t also deserve a gift

Image credit: Dreamstime

Push gifts have been around for decades.

Never heard of them?

They’re very simple: push gifts are presents for new moms who just gave birth (aka PUSHED a baby out of their body, get it?).

And don’t worry, women who had C-sections get “cut open and pulled out” gifts, which are just as meaningful.

After all that work — whoever came up with this concept reasoned — these women deserve some sort of gift (besides motherhood, bleh). Because, just like that diamond engagement ring, if a woman doesn’t receive an expensive gift, she’ll never know if she’s loved or not.

Schitt’s Creek
Schitt’s Creek
Image credit: Dreamstime

Well, everyone, with all of these vaccines floating around and restrictions getting lifted left and right, the world of socialization is quickly coming back into all of our lives.

And unless you’re the type of person who chooses not to believe in the things that inconvenience you wait I mean unless you’re a Republican, you’ve been quarantining with minimal human interaction for the past year.

However, thanks to the technological gift that is Zoom, we’ve still been able to have regular social interactions with our friends and family. But — on top of this gift of keeping us connected to…

Kinda witty one-liner or non-witty one-liner?

Image Copyright: HBO. (Fair Use.)

How well do you know those witty late-90s, early-2000s Sex and the City episode titles? How well do you know those modern-day Sarcastic T-shirts from Walmart?

Think you’re a pro when it comes to both topics? Well, find out here!

“I Can Fart and Walk Away, What’s Your Superpower?”

Though there was that one scene in the first Sex and the City movie where Charlotte drinks the tiniest bit of water from her shower and subsequently shits herself in front of “the girls” — which was either supposed to be karma for an entitled white woman who refuses to consume anything from the resort since it’s located in a…

🎶 It’s the most wonderful tiiiiime of the year… 🎶

Photo credit: Rachel Marsh

Girl Scouts are important once a year, and that annual event is here: Samoa season.

Though these ambitious young cookie sellers are normally as easy to track down as a yoga pants MLM on Facebook, I had to work a lot harder this year. You know, because of the whole pandemic situation.

Luckily, I did finally obtain a box — I know a guy. (AKA I asked every single person I know to find them for me.)

So in honor of this very special occasion and this very special box of Samoas, I put on my most forgiving sweatpants (which…

You won’t BELIEVE how long you’ve been making these mistakes!

Photo credit: Dreamstime

Yikes! Have you started to notice the weight creeping up around that waistline of yours — but you have no idea WHY?

Hey, it happens to a lot of us! Many people have what seem like innocent habits, but turn out to be detrimental to their weight. You know how it goes: a simple habit here, a slip up there — and all of a sudden, none of your clothes fit anymore!

But the good news is, a lot of these habits are completely irreversible. …

For example, “too much sourdough starter”

Photo credit: Dreamstime

This time a year ago, as we were all canceling vacations, setting up home offices, and avoiding each other like the — you know — plague, and it felt like that slow ease into a freezing cold indoor pool. The initial temperature is an almost-unbearable shock to your system, but then you sort of get used to it (half from effort and half from your entire body going numb).

But — even as the most memorably forgettable year in history — there was still a lot that this year has brought as far as tropes and experiences and iconic situations…

According to my reliable sources at CNN and TikTok, the cry laughing emoji is out and I have to admit I’m pretty tears streaming down face emoji about it.

As the “kids” now say, it is an “uncool” emoji — something only “moms” and “other uncool people, like adults” use.

But as someone who cry laughs on a regular basis in real life, this emoji perfectly reflects my reaction to, say, that very funny response someone made to my text message, or that crazy dog picture I just received. …

Things are about to get steamy, and by steamy I mean really awkward

In honor of Valentine’s Day, the most romantic day of the year besides this most recent inauguration day, I cracked open my legendary middle school diary.

This diary, with a handsome horse on the front and a lock on the side that never actually worked, contains all of my young teenage memories and secrets. These include friend drama, family drama, and every single crush I ever had (that I never had the courage to talk to).

To commemorate the romance season, I’ve gone down the path of handsome horse diary lane to visit the day of my first kiss.


You’re not going to want to miss out on these!

Hey everyone! Welcome to 2021!

You know, the thing I love most about starting a new year is looking ahead at all of the valuable products the upcoming months have to offer! There are SO many products that I love – so I’ve put together a list of my top 10 favorites, and soon-to-be favorites, to share with you all.

Check out why these items made the cut, and why you need them in your life, um, yesterday!

1. The Moderna Vaccine

This vaccine is great because it makes your body immune to that deadly virus called COVID-19. You know, the virus that, as…

This holiday season, give your loved ones the gift of a slightly less endangered planet!

Wrapping paper
Wrapping paper
Source: Dreamstime

We are annihilating the earth with our bad decisions!

Luckily, we’ve begun taking huge steps to reverse global warming. For example, some coffee shops offer paper straws instead of plastic ones!

This holiday season, you too can take powerful measures to help prevent the planet from combusting from within. To really make a difference this year, I’m offering up 11 ways to replace that wasteful wrapping paper with something a little more environmentally friendly.

Hey, with movements like this, 2021 could just be the year we’ll finally get this pesky climate change issue behind us once and for all!

1. Put All the Gifts Under Your Shirt


Rachel Marsh

Award-winning writer, non-award-winning comedian. Also an improviser, please don’t hold that against me.

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