5 days agoMember-onlyMy Middle School Diary Excerpts That Help Explain Why I’m Still SingleLike all angsty pre-teens, I kept a diary. This diary mostly just contained my feelings about the boys I liked, all of whom I was way too afraid to ask out, talk to, or even make eye contact with. But even though I was too awkward to interact with anyone…Middle School5 min read
Published in Greener Pastures Magazine·Aug 2Member-onlyThe Stages of Grief in a Post-Choco Taco WorldThere is no right or wrong way to mourn a loss — Denial No way is this happening. No way are we out here refusing children the experience of the Choco Taco. How are future generations going to make anything of themselves if they don’t understand that any savory food can be turned into an ice cream dessert with the help of a…Ice Cream2 min read
Jul 23Member-onlyAnything Can Happen at Taco Bell CantinaAnd I mean anything — The thing I love about living in a big city is that they have everything. Here in Chicago, you can find Targets with special shopping cart escalators, and midnight showings of The Room, and sometimes a guy walking around to different bars selling tamales out of Ziploc bags. And on…Taco Bell5 min read
Published in The Haven·Jun 27Member-onlyHear Me Out: Let’s Extend Pride Month Instead of Celebrating the 4th of JulyEvery year on July 1, we have to wish Pride Month a sassy goodbye and prepare to celebrate the birth of our country. However, in light of recent events (and by “recent events” I mean “pretty much since 2016”), I’d personally prefer to keep the Pride Month festivities going through…Pride2 min read
Published in The Belladonna Comedy·Jun 23Member-onlyQuiz: Are You a Cute Crier or Should You Get Better at Bottling Up Your Emotions?Everyone loves a self-aware crier — When you cry, do you look like someone that everyone wants to comfort, hold, and maybe even marry one day? Or do you look like someone that everyone wants to politely ignore because they’ve never seen a human being look like that before? Take this quiz and find out! 1…Crying3 min read
Published in Slackjaw·Jun 7Member-onlyWhat His Dating Profile Pics Say About Him!Is that emotional intelligence in his pocket or is he just happy to see you? — As someone on Etsy once said, “a picture is worth a thousand words.” And when it comes to men’s dating profile pictures, which is likely what they were referring to, these pics can offer a lot of insight into the guy himself! In today’s world of so many dating profiles…Dating App3 min read
Published in The Haven·Jun 3Member-onlyBasic White Woman Tattoos, Explained“Nevertheless she persisted” is actually the Chinese character for “I might get bangs” — White women have been decorating their bodies with ink since the dawn of wanderlust. Their tattoos are designed to signify the strength, perseverance, and bravery needed to survive the tribulations as a white woman in America. From the outside, though, it can be confusing to see all of these compasses…Humor3 min read
May 1Member-onlyAll I Want Is the Confidence of Those Two Women Who Came to a Standup Open Mic and Did KaraokeI’m used to seeing out-of-the-ordinary events at standup open mics. Comedy is a fluid medium, so when people come to an event, occasionally someone will see it as an “anything goes” kind of endeavor. I’ve seen someone do a set while holding a small dog. I’ve seen someone do a…Comedy3 min read
Published in The Haven·Apr 18Member-onlyDate Night Dice: Create Your Own!Are you willing to let three dice decide the fate of your date night? — Are you and your partner getting a little fatigued with your typical date night? Even in new relationships, the indecisiveness can start to set in pretty quickly. But I recently discovered this amazing “Date Night Dice” set on Etsy, a three-dice set featuring prompts designed to shake up the routine…Date Night3 min read
Published in The Haven·Apr 3Member-onlyBeyond the Freezer: The Best Ways to Eat Thin MintsFrozen cookies are so last year — Everyone knows the best way to enjoy Thin Mints is in the freezer. The cookie is crisper, the mint is fresher, and the chocolate isn’t melting everywhere. But what if we’ve all been too stuck on this “frozen” idea? What if we all put our boxes of Thin Mints in…Girl Scout Cookies3 min read
